I have no motivation to do anything else except expose my feelings to this internet community.  I like to keep my thoughts in order so I will only write about one of the many subjects that has been on my mind lately.

I want to get my thoughts out about last Wednesday’s chapel service.  For those of you not in the ORU community, that chapel was a bit different than any one I had ever experienced.  Rodney Howard Brown from Tampa, Fl was the speaker.  He preached a very simple message that left me somewhat disappointed, but still because of President Roberts introduction I stayed with the thoughts that this man has to be good.  Chapel is normally over at noon.  I however stayed until after 3.  Classes were canceled for the remainder of the day.  I used to think of myself as one of the most charismatic people I knew.  My pastor back home is an ordained Pentecostal preacher. I love the charismatic church.  One time I was talking to a friend who sometimes criticizes the charismatic church and he said something to me that meant a lot.  After I told him a little about my church back home and how much I love it, he said, “I always criticize the church for the way they do things and then I meet someone whose life was changed because of the church.”  So yea if the charismatic church is what I like the most, then why did I not like chapel?  I mean sure it was OK for some, but what about the people it turned away?  Gosh I just don’t know how I feel.

            One would defiantly use the term “on fire for God” to describe our youth group.  That included me.  Now what kind of Christian am I?  I would say I am a more laid back dignified Christian.  Or am I?  What about this: has my heart become harden?  I think not, but what do I really know?  I know more about the bible than I ever have before.  I pray more than I ever have before.  I give more and serve more than I ever have before.  But what does it all mean, Basil (Austin powers, I had to throw that in)?  I know that the things these people are experiencing are real because I have been there.  Three years ago I would have said this service was amazing.  Three years ago I would have been one of the ones laughing or crying or running.  I would have done something.  I would have felt something.  Instead I did nothing.  I felt nothing.  What am I?  What have I become? Where has my fire gone and how can I get it back?





4 responses to “

  1. Why did you paste it twice? I love your thoughts. Myabe you have  already expeirenced to much and just that one service didn’t have much of an impact as the others. I don’t know those are my thoughts but I want to be more deeper. You will find the fire again it lives in you forever and always. proverbs 3:19-26… I just read it and I like those verses.

  2. Sometimes, in fact most of the time, coals burn hotter then the visible flame… I know for chapel was what i needed, it really refreshed and revived me… you seem like the type of person that doesnt need that type of thing as much as others… and that doesnt make you wrong at all.  I deal with that kinda stuff all the time, because i approach my christian walk a little differently then others, and i sometimes get confused about what i should be, myself or like them. but there is nothing wrong with the way i am, just different

  3. You shouldn’t equate your sincerity as a Christian to what did or didn’t happen to you last week in chapel. Many of those people who “experienced something” aren’t exactly those I would consider model Christians; and you know what… they haven’t changed much since last Wednesday either. I’m not saying that whatever was happening to people wasn’t God, but I’m pretty sure it had nothing to do with how Christian they were. If you didn’t experience anything, it’s more likely that you were just expecting something deeper and more meaningful than your emotional Jesus fix.

  4. just because you don’t laugh, or cry, or fall over, or shake, or run, or dance does not mean you lack fire. I think the guy in chapel today, Myland Lafebler(sp?) really touched on this. Religion is a form of godliness that doesn’t have any power. What the people experienced was God, but it was also religion. The personal relationship you have with God, the reading the seeking, the love and devotion, thats real fire, thats the power of God. What happened in that chapel was an experiece, the experience might have done something for people, it might have made them change, to gain the fire. The laughing, the crying, the falling over was a kindling of the fire, a stirring up so to speak, in order to reconnect these people with God. You however are probably already very connected. Someone once said that its a wonderful thing to be comfortable with God. Thats so true, you don’t have to be falling all over the place to be on fire for Him. Don’t be discouraged your fire is a lot stronger than most, I know this because it is encouraging to me.

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